But Sometimes They Come Back.
*F1= Best friend you’d drifted away from or gotten into a fight with*
F1- Hey, is your geography notebook complete?
You- Yeah sure, here you go
F1- When can I return it?
You- Anytime you want to, you can come to my house to give it back, my parents haven’t seen you in a while
F1- Really? Alright, I’ll drop by. I know you missed me more than your parents xD
“People always leave, but sometimes they come back.”
(One tree hill)
Yes, one of my very first positive entries in this blog actually validating it’s name and even though the situation is pretty difficult to take place, it does, sometimes. It did with me and I can finally feel comfortable in my own skin. My last entry was all about how you’re left out by one of your best friends and how it hurts even more when you don’t know the reason behind it.
I would like to say that when such a reunion finally occurs, you DON’T talk about the fight. It just brings back all those painful and hurtful moments of coping. You bring back the memories. Now you can either refresh them, or you can delete all of those you made earlier and create new ones. Reconciliation, is magical. And it obviously makes you feel like you’re on the top of the world because of the drastic period of betrayal you’ve just been able to remove from your mind, acknowledging it as a ‘petty fight‘ or a ‘best friend clash‘ which might have actually been ‘good for your friendship‘.
The problem which most of us don’t remember to acknowledge is the problem of acceptance, before which comes realization, making it even harder to interpret this phenomena of ‘coming back’.
You actually understand the worth of the best things in life when they’re finally taken away from you and when they arise from the worst of situations, you realise their significance because of the way you were so used to them that you sometimes even end up calling them addictions. You miss people only after you know they’re gone. And there are chances of them never ‘coming back to you’. But when they do, after the realization, you value them even more.
An addiction happens when something makes you feel better or provides you with some sort of pleasurable emotions without which you certainly decide that you can’t live. And you also realize the importance it held in your life, the way it made you feel, and how much you wish you could do anything that would take you back to it. And this is the same response that you adopt to, when your best friends or significant others come crawling back to you because they realized the same thing that you did, probably, just a little later than expected.
Now it’s a very personal choice for you to either choose to give them a second chance, or to ‘accept‘ the fact that it’s AFTER all those promises that you made to each other, and all those wonderful memories you created, that they could actually forget you (even if it was just for a small period of time) in just a matter of seconds and that they are pretty much capable of repeating the same in the future as well.
And during this whole phase of various and segregated realizations, you’re also going to notice that the people who took care of you, who supported you from falling into crumbles, who picked up the pieces to join them back together slowly, have now started drifting away from you as well. Because that’s what happens in life, no matter how well you think you’re holding it together, you can’t NOT be flawed. That would just make you supernatural, right?
Life keeps evolving, changing. You need to pay a price for all the prayers that have been answered on your front and that’s only fair. You can’t be perfect and lead a perfect life. The word itself is unsound, since it shouldn’t exist, it’s meaning holds no meaning.
SO HOW DO YOU MAKE A CHOICE?
It’s not easy.
Because well, the best things in life are NEVERfree. The people you meet, the places you visit, the positivity you generate and the memories you decide to make, are all worth the wait. Trust me. The longer you wait for something, the more you are going to appreciate it when you get it. Because anything worth having is definitely worth waiting for. But if you lose something in return, don’t blame yourself or your circumstances for it. It’s supposed to be that way. It gives you substance to deal with, which carries life forward with the others.
It might be you choosing to stay with people who’ve decided to come back to you, by losing the important lesson that you could have learnt from the situation or you choosing to take the situation as a lesson and not let them affect you in the same way again which might make you lose those certain people from your life.
Either way, acceptance is the key. You just need to crack the code. Once it hits you, there’s nothing that can stop you from marching ahead and leading a satisfied life. The one in which you can feel comfortable in your own very skin.
It’s not easy, but it’s your life and it’s definitely worth it.
– Molina Rana