Let’s Talk About It, Shall We?
As we grow up, we become more curious and partially aware of things. We have countless questions, about life, career, relationships, our body, the opposite sex, the mechanics of sexual intercourse, and what not. Traditionally it is believed that parents are our first teachers. They teach you how to ride a bike, how to speak, how to get up after you fall, how to shut up and eat the green vegetables, how to shut up further and brush your teeth before sleeping, and a lot of other things. So why shouldn’t they be the ones to answer our questions about the adult life and all that it comes with. Why do some young people feel the need to hide their relationships from their parents? Why they can teach us about everything but not sex which is a natural human instinct? Till when are we going to make kids believe that they were gifts from god or conjured from the sunlight? So lets talk about it, shall we? Here is why I think it is time to have all “the talk” :-
1. We need someone who we can trust: As confused and dazed latest entries into the world of adulthood, we don't have many people we can open up to. Our bodies change, world around us change, people around us change and life becomes a huge mess of complications. During this time we need people who know us, people we can count on and only parents can offer us that. This is a wake up call for all moms and dads!
2. Who would you rather have us explain?: Parents do you really want pornographic material to teach us about sex? More than the gender roles and notions it creates, pornographic films portray an exaggerated version of it. There are a lot of problems with that. First of all, the unrealistic expectations we form in our minds are bound to get shattered. The pressure to achieve something like that leads to anxiety in a lot of young people. We become conscious of our bodies and what not. Which ultimately spoils this natural instinct for us.
3. Taboos have to be destroyed: After a point you suddenly realise how ridiculous our culture becomes when it comes to issues like menstruation and sex. More ridiculous is the fact that it has no legible answer for they why! I bleed and I deserve to know why. It is natural so I don’t want to be told to be ashamed of it. I am going to have sex at some point and I deserve to know the ‘how to’. It is natural so I don’t need to be told to be ashamed about it.
4. It is overwhelming and we need help even if we pretend we do not Imagine the scenario- you are right out of college, you are expected to find a job, earn decently, pay bills which you don’t even understand, handle things you never had to handle before, manage feelings you have never felt before, then marry, then have a family ; and all this when only a thought of it makes you just want to curl up in your blanket and a call it home. We need someone to sit down with us and tell us that it is going to be okay, that we are going to be okay. That we will figure all this out. Parents need to understand that we look for a friend in you. A friend only you can be and no one else.
So let us just talk it out. All of it.
- Shakshi Singh.